vaxjedi | *sigh*

I am tired and worn.

I am working the early shift at work. That has me tired. i have to work OT all week long. That has me tired. Everyone at home is tense. That has me tired. It's spring and Chris is mowing the lawn. That has me allergic and tired. I have tons of cleaning to do at home. But I never get to it. That has me depressed. And tired. I am lonely all the time because I have no friends, but when I try to go out and be social, I have panic attacks. That has me depressed, stressed, moody and tired.

Have I mentioned that I'm bitchy as well? Well, I'd figured you would have noticed it already.

I think I might need to get back onto my meds. I wasn't the most social, happy energetic person before. But I think I was significantly better than I am now. But, I don't know about the loss of sensation, of emotion. I got off my meds because I felt my brain was a bit clouded, like I was in a fog.

I don't know anymore. I feel like a yo-yo. Some days I feel strong and can handle things and it's not all really that big of a deal because the important things are in my life. Other days, I am miserable. I can't stand my job, I can't stand my house, I can't stand being with people and I can't stand being alone.

I have to work..