About hedonism
May. 3rd, 2006 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaxjediSo it's Beltaine, and I celebrated in the recently traditional manner (winkwinknudgenudge). Thinking about it has brought up some thoughts about Beltaine, sexuality and paganism. (long wandering rant follows)
Ever noticed that pagans are, as a whole, pretty oversexed? I mean, we are a lusty people. Pagans have sex at the drop of a hat. Almost ANY hat, it seems. I've heard comments on this, sometimes from within the pagan movement. Comments along the lines of "I wish they would just stop using paganism to justify sleeping around" and "If you wanna fuck, just fuck. Don't call it religion" and "that's just hedonism!"
Well, you know, it is hedonism. But it isn't "just". Sure, if you wanna fuck, just do it. And you can call sex and polyamory and kinky sex rituals and all that sort of thing 'spiritual' and not mean it. I'm sure there are lots of people who do. But that doesn't mean that is all there is to it.
You see, if it is really spiritual, if it really is religious, you take the next step. Sex is a cornerstone of the process, not the point of it. For it to be really spiritual, or sacred, you have to take the next step, of understanding what it is you are doing and why you are doing it.
Sex feels good and all, yeah. But it's really about connection. It's about attaching yourself to people. We become more than human by connecting, creating circuits of energy and meaning and passion. it's like electricity - nothing really happens until that circuit is established. Once that circuit is established, real synergy is evoked. The people involved become more than the some of their parts. They create something beautiful and eternal. It doesn't matter if that new thing is momentary. It doesn't matter what happens after it - if those people never see each other again if they die, if they argue or become disaffected. None of these things diminish what has was created. None of these things can ruin it. With each act of love and pleasure, the universe gets that much better. And nothing takes that away from the universe. Sometimes the crap piles up so you can't see it. But it's still there. It cannot be destroyed.
(Aside: ever notice the Rede says "all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals"? "all acts of love and pleasure". Not "all acts of love and all acts of pleasure". It's both love AND pleasure. It's got to be both, simultaneously.)
That's the next step, I think. Understand that sex is not the light itself, but just the image you see on the wall when the light hits it. Sex is one of the natural results of the real power. Real sexuality isn't a zero sum game, a game of back and forth objectification, or self-gratification using each other's parts. Real sexuality is a celebration of the raw positivity that a human being is capable of. Real sexuality is a reminder that we are meant to be luminescent beings, radiating light instead of blocking it.
That leads to further steps (the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step). Sex leads to connection. Connection leads to community and celebration. We give a little piece of ourselves to each person we have sex with. We extend ourselves to them, into them. We spread ourselves out among those we connect to. In that way we can become a self-supporting netowrk, a community. We can celebrate each other, but just our sensous bodies and desires, but each other's essence. Really, you fuck someone not because you need to get off, or they are pretty, or rich. If you are doing it right, you are fucking someone because of you want to fuck who they are. You aren't fucking body parts. You are fucking THEM.
And it doesn't have to be earth shattering love that lasts lifetimes, You can fuck them for who they are right now in relation to you. That might be your lifetime partner, your best friend, or just an anonymous person who you are sharing a special moment with. You can love them and fuck them for who they are right then, right at that time. It's still as real, and as powerful.
Sex is also compassion. It's a sharing of self, a gift of yoruself in the most intimate and sensual way possible. You are giving a part of yourself to that person. Most people don't realize that, but you can do that knowingly, intentionally, out of compassion. And each act of compassion is a part of that, whether it involves sex or not.
(Aside: here's an exercise. You know those guys who stand on freeway onramps with signs asking for money? Give them some. It doesn't matter if they need it or not. It doesnt matter that he may simply use it to by booze or alcohol. It doesn't matter that there are people who don't really need the money but stand out there toget extra money. It doesn't matter that there are a lot of reputable charity organizations out there that would use your money more responsibly and put that money to better use. Those don't matter. What matters is you give someone money out of compassion. It matters that it is face to face, it matters that it is compassion that is personal and intimate, person to person for someone that you'll probably never see again. Other forms of charity and compassion are important. But this is one form that is too often neglected)
Sex is power. If it weren't, then it wouldn't be such a battleground. Then rape wouldn't be such a despicable thing. Sex can heal. Sex dislodges blockages - this is why it shakes us apart, it opens up windows for us to reinvent ourselves. Occultists have known this for years. And it's that very power that makes it important that we use it. Hone it. Develop it. We are all heirs to that birthright, and it finds us whether we like it or not. We must learn to handle that power. To use it wisely. And use it for what it was intended.
Oi, I think that's the end of that stream of consciousness. it's late. I'll pay for this in the morning, but I'll allow myself some latitude for my birthday ;)
Ever noticed that pagans are, as a whole, pretty oversexed? I mean, we are a lusty people. Pagans have sex at the drop of a hat. Almost ANY hat, it seems. I've heard comments on this, sometimes from within the pagan movement. Comments along the lines of "I wish they would just stop using paganism to justify sleeping around" and "If you wanna fuck, just fuck. Don't call it religion" and "that's just hedonism!"
Well, you know, it is hedonism. But it isn't "just". Sure, if you wanna fuck, just do it. And you can call sex and polyamory and kinky sex rituals and all that sort of thing 'spiritual' and not mean it. I'm sure there are lots of people who do. But that doesn't mean that is all there is to it.
You see, if it is really spiritual, if it really is religious, you take the next step. Sex is a cornerstone of the process, not the point of it. For it to be really spiritual, or sacred, you have to take the next step, of understanding what it is you are doing and why you are doing it.
Sex feels good and all, yeah. But it's really about connection. It's about attaching yourself to people. We become more than human by connecting, creating circuits of energy and meaning and passion. it's like electricity - nothing really happens until that circuit is established. Once that circuit is established, real synergy is evoked. The people involved become more than the some of their parts. They create something beautiful and eternal. It doesn't matter if that new thing is momentary. It doesn't matter what happens after it - if those people never see each other again if they die, if they argue or become disaffected. None of these things diminish what has was created. None of these things can ruin it. With each act of love and pleasure, the universe gets that much better. And nothing takes that away from the universe. Sometimes the crap piles up so you can't see it. But it's still there. It cannot be destroyed.
(Aside: ever notice the Rede says "all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals"? "all acts of love and pleasure". Not "all acts of love and all acts of pleasure". It's both love AND pleasure. It's got to be both, simultaneously.)
That's the next step, I think. Understand that sex is not the light itself, but just the image you see on the wall when the light hits it. Sex is one of the natural results of the real power. Real sexuality isn't a zero sum game, a game of back and forth objectification, or self-gratification using each other's parts. Real sexuality is a celebration of the raw positivity that a human being is capable of. Real sexuality is a reminder that we are meant to be luminescent beings, radiating light instead of blocking it.
That leads to further steps (the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step). Sex leads to connection. Connection leads to community and celebration. We give a little piece of ourselves to each person we have sex with. We extend ourselves to them, into them. We spread ourselves out among those we connect to. In that way we can become a self-supporting netowrk, a community. We can celebrate each other, but just our sensous bodies and desires, but each other's essence. Really, you fuck someone not because you need to get off, or they are pretty, or rich. If you are doing it right, you are fucking someone because of you want to fuck who they are. You aren't fucking body parts. You are fucking THEM.
And it doesn't have to be earth shattering love that lasts lifetimes, You can fuck them for who they are right now in relation to you. That might be your lifetime partner, your best friend, or just an anonymous person who you are sharing a special moment with. You can love them and fuck them for who they are right then, right at that time. It's still as real, and as powerful.
Sex is also compassion. It's a sharing of self, a gift of yoruself in the most intimate and sensual way possible. You are giving a part of yourself to that person. Most people don't realize that, but you can do that knowingly, intentionally, out of compassion. And each act of compassion is a part of that, whether it involves sex or not.
(Aside: here's an exercise. You know those guys who stand on freeway onramps with signs asking for money? Give them some. It doesn't matter if they need it or not. It doesnt matter that he may simply use it to by booze or alcohol. It doesn't matter that there are people who don't really need the money but stand out there toget extra money. It doesn't matter that there are a lot of reputable charity organizations out there that would use your money more responsibly and put that money to better use. Those don't matter. What matters is you give someone money out of compassion. It matters that it is face to face, it matters that it is compassion that is personal and intimate, person to person for someone that you'll probably never see again. Other forms of charity and compassion are important. But this is one form that is too often neglected)
Sex is power. If it weren't, then it wouldn't be such a battleground. Then rape wouldn't be such a despicable thing. Sex can heal. Sex dislodges blockages - this is why it shakes us apart, it opens up windows for us to reinvent ourselves. Occultists have known this for years. And it's that very power that makes it important that we use it. Hone it. Develop it. We are all heirs to that birthright, and it finds us whether we like it or not. We must learn to handle that power. To use it wisely. And use it for what it was intended.
Oi, I think that's the end of that stream of consciousness. it's late. I'll pay for this in the morning, but I'll allow myself some latitude for my birthday ;)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 09:10 am (UTC)In all seriously, I have thought just about all of those thoughts. Thank you for putting it all down in writing. It is nice to know others feel the same way. I will be adding this post to my memories.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 04:05 pm (UTC)I'm glad this speaks to you :) Feel free to read my stuff on Rapture as well. Maybe that will interest you too :)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 09:23 am (UTC)None of these things diminish what has was created. None of these things can ruin it. With each act of love and pleasure, the universe gets that much better. And nothing takes that away from the universe. Sometimes the crap piles up so you can't see it. But it's still there. It cannot be destroyed.
Now that's good stuff.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 04:13 pm (UTC)I think the danger od 'casual' sex is, where (as you said) when people are looking for someone else to use to masturbate themselves. Nothing inherently with masturbation in all of it's forms. But in and of itself, it's not enough for real sacred sex. And it obscures the real potential of the act.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 11:09 am (UTC)It's about attaching yourself to people. We become more than human by connecting, creating circuits of energy and meaning and passion.
so much groking......if only i could grok my italain this well.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 12:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 03:33 pm (UTC)otherwise, YEAH.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-03 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 04:33 am (UTC)And that connecting thing is often underrated. The good news, is you can fuck and connect at the same time. (The bad news is, you can fuck without connecting. Though sometimes that too has a place.)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-04 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-07 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 04:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-09 04:55 pm (UTC)Infinite variety
Date: 2006-05-09 10:31 pm (UTC)Eventually, I realized that I wanted to create deeper, more complex relationships and that while I still enjoyed swinging, I wanted a wider range of connections. Polyamory (at least how I practice it) allows for a nearly infinite expression of connections. Unfortunately, my health has severely limited my participation over the last few years.
One level that I would like explore further is community building; that is why samvimes and I are looking at how to include the poly community in the property we are purchasing. We don't know what that will look like yet, but we both like the idea of using the resources we have to strenghten bonds between people.
And yes, we do stop and give money to those standing by the side of the road when we can. I firmly believe that you help those around you first, then look to the wider community if possible.
Happy belated birthday and thank you for sharing your thoughts - I found them very similar to my own.
Re: Infinite variety
Date: 2006-05-10 06:45 am (UTC)