(no subject)
Feb. 2nd, 2003 09:18 pmLife can be messy. Life can be draining. Life just sucks sometimes. And it always feels like there is no hope.
I wonder "Why should I go on?" I ask "Does any of this matter?"
"Why should I get up in the morning and continue?"
My answer is this. I do get up in the morning and continue. Every day. Each morning some tragedy, personal or distant, hits me in the face. And the next day, I get up and face the day. Sometimes I stand, sometimes I fall. But every day I get up.
I do get up in the morning and continue. I do endure. I do persevere. Thus, there must be a reason. When more desperate options seem so appealing and easy, I don't take them. So there must be a reason.
Why should I get up in the morning and continue? Because I already am.
The key is to find the reason why.
I wonder "Why should I go on?" I ask "Does any of this matter?"
"Why should I get up in the morning and continue?"
My answer is this. I do get up in the morning and continue. Every day. Each morning some tragedy, personal or distant, hits me in the face. And the next day, I get up and face the day. Sometimes I stand, sometimes I fall. But every day I get up.
I do get up in the morning and continue. I do endure. I do persevere. Thus, there must be a reason. When more desperate options seem so appealing and easy, I don't take them. So there must be a reason.
Why should I get up in the morning and continue? Because I already am.
The key is to find the reason why.
no subject
Date: 2003-02-02 10:29 pm (UTC)I sobbed and sobbed and almost had to pull over. And it filled me with this incredible power and determination. I knew that throughout my life, nothing would ever keep me down.
I've been realizing recently, that in (at least) one area of my life, I am ridiculously stubborn regardless of all evidence to the contrary: HOpe. I stubbornly hope, no matter what... and even when it seems unreasonable at the time, it always turns out to be correct in the end, somehow or other.
And being needed certainly helps a person to keep going. That's why I keep pets.
As for why to bother with keeping up hope or even with being needed (after all, you can always run out on people, if you can live with the consequences)*
Well... if you give up, it will get worse: guaranteed. If you keep going and keep trying, it might still get worse, but it might not, and it might even get a whole lot better. It's a gamble, but in this case gambling is a hell of a lot better than the assurance of defeat.
*(though I doubt either you or I could live with the consequences of running out on those who love us -- being a good person has it's perks, I guess -- we have more loved ones to help us stay sane)
And now I have songs from the Buffy Musical stuck in my head. *sigh*
Anyway, don't know if that was useful or just pretentious or what, but the whole stubborn hope thing has been on my mind a lot lately.
Talk to you soon,
-Rhia
inspiration
Date: 2003-02-05 06:05 am (UTC)I'm too smart to quit
Blade: Your too smart to quit. Thats why you keep going.
It doesn't always help me either:) but its a thought
no subject
Date: 2003-02-08 12:23 pm (UTC)