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Apr. 10th, 2004 12:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vaxjediSo I haven't been talking a lot lately on here. Part of it is that I haven't been able to access LJ well from work, and I can't reply to anything. Part of it is that I've just been tired and worn out. But I do have things to say. Of course.
So last weekend another full moon went by. I meant to have something set up for my Rature tradition in order to start doing full moon rituals. I may not be much of a Wiccan style pagan, but the Espbats have always felt good to me. The regularity of them is comforting, and it just sorta makes sense to base a holiday off of the full moon.
But a number of things over the last month pulled me away from the spiritual research and development I had been doing. Oddly enough, it wasn't due to loss or depression this time, but to the opposite. I had so many things go well over the last month that I sorta got lost in them all. I kept thinking "I should work on this" then I would get distracted.
And I still need to get them done. I need to be able to practice what I preach, to turn this into a real tradition that I can follow. I need the sort of thing that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
arib and rabbitorf get out of their holidays - a sense of tradition and a sense of meaning. But I have to find things that mean something to me for them to be powerful to me. Thus the creation of this tradition.
I want full moons to be special times, like the sabbaths. Regular reminders of the point behind the tradition, behind the Rapture. Holidays, like yearly holidays are important as well, but I want that sort of regularity.
anandav told me that my description of the gods of the Rapture pantheon sounds eerily like a number of Aztec mythology. Funny thing, I know nothing about Aztec mythology. Really. I've heard a name or two, that's it.
So I'm taking that sycronicity as a sign that I've managed to tap into something that is part of the collective unconsciousness. So I think I'm on the right track.
I put in my 2 week notice at work yesterday. My manager looked like I'd kicked all of her cats. She agreed that this place sounded better for me and my family in terms of insurance and money and such. But she was visibly upset, misty eyed.
I feel kinda weird about leaving this place. It's not my favorite place at all. But it has been a lot better than other places could have been. And I've been working here for 4.5 years. I know the route here so well I often start driving here by reflex. I've seen every sign and store on the way thousands of times, literally. I'v been working in the same part of the building for so long.
I'm gonna miss my manager. I've been working with her for 3 years. She's done so much to help me out with doctor's appointments and leaves and all of that. She's good people. There are a lot of good people here. I'm going to miss them. I'm going to miss working with Adobe software all day. I'm going to miss knowing answers for certain things so well that I reflexively spit them out when the question comes up.
The skills on the products I work with here are not the sort of skills I retain very well unless I am constantly using them. I don't have an abiding passion for graphic design or Adobe software like some people here. So it's a shame taht some of the skills I have developed over the last 2.5 years will languish in my new job. Eleri has suggested that I do freelance work with Adobe sw on the side, just to stay in practice. I might look into that.
I have to admit, my motivation for this job is really low, given I'm burnt out on it and will be leaving within two weeks. I've been late two days in a row. Gotta get back on track. I want to leave strong. I want to be remembered as a valued member of the team, not a sudden problem.
I will, however, be taking as many Adobe Certification tests as I can while they are still free for me ;) I want to be an Adobe Certified Print Master. Then I can change my name to Obi Wan Adobe.
I've been playing Uru Expansion pack 1 with Eleri lately. I have to admit, I just adore the Myst/Riven/Uru background. The concept of a linking book which will take you to another world is just fascinating. I keep telling Eleri that I wish I'd thought of the idea, because the whole background is just brilliant.
The D'ni, the people who make the linking books, lived in caverns below the surface of Earth. That was just a plus. I really like caves. I could live in D'ni happily. Their environment had such interesting effects on their culture, in little ways. Since they lived in caves, they were three dimensional thinkers - even their games showed that - their version of Tic Tac Toe was 3D. They made all of their structures mostly out of quarried stone. Where we would have used metal, they used stone, even making a sort of concrete that was incredibly hard.
I loved Uru Live. It was otherworldy, involving elements I'd read about and played games in from Myst, Riven and Exile as far back as 10 years ago. It was like walking around in a myth. It was like living stories I'd read and grown up on.
I haven't been a huge part of the Uru community. I read the forums and such, but never participate very much. it's just such a time sink and I'm never sure how much time I'm going to have. The Uru people are majorly obsessed. There are people who are mapping out the entirely of the game to scale, using the stride length of the avatars as a basic unit. There are others who have takem maps found in the game and then wrapping them around spheres in 3D rendering programs to find out the poles of the planet and to translate the data into astrophysics.
There is a language in these games, so you know I'm very interested with that. D'ni is a nice language... but once again, I haven't had much time to study it, or to study Quenya like I wanted to. I've bene working on Sinnish, but I wanted to diversify a bit more on my langauges. Maybe it's just too much to do at once.
Back to work now.
So last weekend another full moon went by. I meant to have something set up for my Rature tradition in order to start doing full moon rituals. I may not be much of a Wiccan style pagan, but the Espbats have always felt good to me. The regularity of them is comforting, and it just sorta makes sense to base a holiday off of the full moon.
But a number of things over the last month pulled me away from the spiritual research and development I had been doing. Oddly enough, it wasn't due to loss or depression this time, but to the opposite. I had so many things go well over the last month that I sorta got lost in them all. I kept thinking "I should work on this" then I would get distracted.
And I still need to get them done. I need to be able to practice what I preach, to turn this into a real tradition that I can follow. I need the sort of thing that
arib and rabbitorf get out of their holidays - a sense of tradition and a sense of meaning. But I have to find things that mean something to me for them to be powerful to me. Thus the creation of this tradition.I want full moons to be special times, like the sabbaths. Regular reminders of the point behind the tradition, behind the Rapture. Holidays, like yearly holidays are important as well, but I want that sort of regularity.
anandav told me that my description of the gods of the Rapture pantheon sounds eerily like a number of Aztec mythology. Funny thing, I know nothing about Aztec mythology. Really. I've heard a name or two, that's it.So I'm taking that sycronicity as a sign that I've managed to tap into something that is part of the collective unconsciousness. So I think I'm on the right track.
I put in my 2 week notice at work yesterday. My manager looked like I'd kicked all of her cats. She agreed that this place sounded better for me and my family in terms of insurance and money and such. But she was visibly upset, misty eyed.
I feel kinda weird about leaving this place. It's not my favorite place at all. But it has been a lot better than other places could have been. And I've been working here for 4.5 years. I know the route here so well I often start driving here by reflex. I've seen every sign and store on the way thousands of times, literally. I'v been working in the same part of the building for so long.
I'm gonna miss my manager. I've been working with her for 3 years. She's done so much to help me out with doctor's appointments and leaves and all of that. She's good people. There are a lot of good people here. I'm going to miss them. I'm going to miss working with Adobe software all day. I'm going to miss knowing answers for certain things so well that I reflexively spit them out when the question comes up.
The skills on the products I work with here are not the sort of skills I retain very well unless I am constantly using them. I don't have an abiding passion for graphic design or Adobe software like some people here. So it's a shame taht some of the skills I have developed over the last 2.5 years will languish in my new job. Eleri has suggested that I do freelance work with Adobe sw on the side, just to stay in practice. I might look into that.
I have to admit, my motivation for this job is really low, given I'm burnt out on it and will be leaving within two weeks. I've been late two days in a row. Gotta get back on track. I want to leave strong. I want to be remembered as a valued member of the team, not a sudden problem.
I will, however, be taking as many Adobe Certification tests as I can while they are still free for me ;) I want to be an Adobe Certified Print Master. Then I can change my name to Obi Wan Adobe.
I've been playing Uru Expansion pack 1 with Eleri lately. I have to admit, I just adore the Myst/Riven/Uru background. The concept of a linking book which will take you to another world is just fascinating. I keep telling Eleri that I wish I'd thought of the idea, because the whole background is just brilliant.
The D'ni, the people who make the linking books, lived in caverns below the surface of Earth. That was just a plus. I really like caves. I could live in D'ni happily. Their environment had such interesting effects on their culture, in little ways. Since they lived in caves, they were three dimensional thinkers - even their games showed that - their version of Tic Tac Toe was 3D. They made all of their structures mostly out of quarried stone. Where we would have used metal, they used stone, even making a sort of concrete that was incredibly hard.
I loved Uru Live. It was otherworldy, involving elements I'd read about and played games in from Myst, Riven and Exile as far back as 10 years ago. It was like walking around in a myth. It was like living stories I'd read and grown up on.
I haven't been a huge part of the Uru community. I read the forums and such, but never participate very much. it's just such a time sink and I'm never sure how much time I'm going to have. The Uru people are majorly obsessed. There are people who are mapping out the entirely of the game to scale, using the stride length of the avatars as a basic unit. There are others who have takem maps found in the game and then wrapping them around spheres in 3D rendering programs to find out the poles of the planet and to translate the data into astrophysics.
There is a language in these games, so you know I'm very interested with that. D'ni is a nice language... but once again, I haven't had much time to study it, or to study Quenya like I wanted to. I've bene working on Sinnish, but I wanted to diversify a bit more on my langauges. Maybe it's just too much to do at once.
Back to work now.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 04:17 pm (UTC)Wait for it...
Date: 2004-04-10 04:52 pm (UTC)"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only Hopi."
Re: Wait for it...
Date: 2004-04-12 09:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-10 09:32 pm (UTC)*sings to the tune of Styx's "Mr. Roboto"*
Obi Wan Adobe
Way cuter than Moby
Obi! ( obi)
Obi (obi)
Obi Wan Adobe
Not in trouble like Kobe
Obi! (obi)
Obi! (Obi)
Obi Wan Adobe
please pierce my ear-lobies
Obi! (obi)
Obi! (Obi)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-12 09:46 am (UTC)