vaxjedi | (no subject)

So my manager sends out an email to all the peopel on my level, asking for comments for yearly reviews of technicians with a list of names attached. My name is on the list, since my review was due in Feb. and hasn't been done yet (and they have to get it done before I leave). So here are the comments I submitted on myself:

Scott is one of the most valuable people on the team. Several times, he's worked behind the scenes to defend Adobe from a conspiracy of meglomaniacal aliens with oddly out-of-place British accents. His expertise with Framemaker and Howling Monkey Kung Fu have allowed him to fend off espionage attempts by Quark's team of genetically-enhanced ninja warriors. At least once, he's stopped assassination plots targetting The Chad [one of the managers] using his amazing psychic abilities. He represented Adobe and Stream versus Iron Chef Chinese Chen Kenichi, proving that his cuisine reigned supreme in the Salmon Roe battle with salmon roe and potato noodles with shrimp and a dipping sauce, salmon and salmon roe matsumae-yaki style (baked in a seaweed wrapper) and taraba crab with vinegared ikura garnish served in an ice bowl.

So yeah, he deserves a 15% raise and a trip to the Bahamas.